An Empowering Labour Despite the Challenges

It was the evening of my due date,

23rd of January 2021

I spotted some bloody mucus and consulted with midwife Bo who advised me that this meant that my cervix must be moving from posterior to anterior which takes time with your first baby as your body hasn’t gone through this labour process before so i sat tight. However, my contractions started at this point (I remember them feeling like period cramps. I was able to breathe through them but they were mainly around my back and occasionally came to the under my bump area) they were manageable and irregular.

24th of January 2021

Again, another day of contractions however getting a little more intense and I was seeing more bloody mucus which was a good sign as my body was slowly doing what it was made to do with God’s grace. I was able to move around and sit with the family but at certain stages I felt really tired and stayed in bed where I felt most comfortable.

I need to mention my in laws were staying with me at this stage and I was trying to keep in my contractions screams which I shouldn’t have done and just let go...I got really tensed up and instead of breathing in and out I just froze but when I tried to breathe it really did help. A great tip is getting your partner to help you mimic the breathing.

I remember vividly at this stage I kept asking my husband to rub my back as the back labour was starting to get painful towards the evening.

25th of January 2021

Surprisingly I had a good sleep and my contractions were something I was getting used to. I even woke up to my mother in law teaching me how to make a Nigerian dish called eba and was prancing around this morning...not knowing that things were about to get the most intense later that day. As the day progressed I started to time my contractions as they started becoming regular, even longer and more painful..

That evening, I rang the hospital and informed them about my contractions but they told me it’s still early and to stay home. However, at this stage I kept feeling like I needed to poo but nothing was coming out and I had a contraction that lasted nearly 15 minutes with me being on all fours and not being able to breathe properly through it so I started to cry with the pain and my husband and I knew I needed some medical relief hence we headed to the hospital around midnight.

26th of January 2021

NIGHT AT THE HOSPITAL

We arrive at the hospital and I inform them of my situation and they say they want to check how far dilated I am which was fine with me at this stage as I was labouring at home for a while but I remember midwife Bo telling me that for the first time to dilate to even 1-3cm is a big deal as your body has to prepare and go through a lot to get to that stage so I wasn’t shocked when the midwife told me I was 1cm, in fact I was relieved. However she told me do you want to go home as we only bring you to the labour ward when you are 3cm, I refused and said I need some help as I was in a lot of pain at this stage with frequent intense contractions coming in every minute lasting 3-5min each and I couldn’t sit, walk or lie down with the pain. For me, this was the most painful stage of my labour which was to be expected but I really needed some sort of relief, the midwife gave me paracetamol and told me to wait outside for an hour and we can check if I dilate a bit more, I agreed but at this stage it got really unbearable with the pain, I needed something stronger...

The midwife advised me to get pethidine and at this stage I checked midwife Bo’s instagram stories for what this would do for me and it sounded like something I wanted to take to numb the pain I was feeling. after about an hour or two they checked me again and I was dilated 1cm and a HALF! This is when I was like I can’t wait to get the epidural because of how much pain I was in. the midwife admitted me into the hospital and gave me a pethidine injection in my bum...for me, this did nothing and in fact made things worse, I still felt my contractions and I felt so sleepy but couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t lie down with my back pain.

At this stage it was around 4am and my husband got kicked out and I remember just texting him that I couldn’t sleep and I was walking around the ward with my most painful contractions as of yet.

26th of January 2021

MORNING

At about 7am I got woken up after managing half an hour of sleep by a midwife ready to check how far I was dilated and HURRAY! I was finally at 3cm’s..this midwife even managed to make me laugh at this point through my contractions and she told me to call my husband as they are ready to take me to the labour ward. at this point, I was telling everyone I can’t wait to get this epidural and midwives were telling me I won’t need to once I get the gas and air. Anyway, I didn’t believe them.. but I was laughing and I have a really positive memory of this morning despite being in pain.

LABOUR WARD

9/10am

I arrive at the labour ward and tell everybody that I want to be mobile and I won’t just lie down on the bed, I ask for the epidural and I’m on all fours on the bed when they put the canula in...they finally introduced me to a game changer, the gas and air!!!!

My student midwife coached me on how to use it and it was amazing, so amazing to the point my husband suggested maybe we try go an hour without the epidural as initially I didn’t want to get it and I agreed. It was the best decision, we made as in that hour I dilated from 3 to 10cm!!!!!! I was so shocked as I enjoyed that hour so much by having bants with my midwives but I remember shouting at my husband to not stop rubbing my back at any instance as that was comforting me.

Now, things got a little shaky as the midwives got us really excited and told me they could see the head, which slowed down my contractions and they told me to go on stirrups and try to push...however I did not feel any urge to push and this was really difficult for me as they were trying to model on how I should push but it went against what my body was saying. I got really tired and frustrated as I couldn’t push so they told me to wait an hour and relax so we can try again. However within that hour, the baby’s heart rate started to drop and I was really trying to push when my body didn’t tell me to so I was exhausted...at this point it was around 11:30am some doctors rushed in and told me due to the baby’s heart rate dropping they suggest I get an episiotomy and maybe they will need to suction baby out, I made an informed decision for them to proceed and at 12.19 my beautiful baby boy was born with God’s will and grace.

I just want to thank God first and foremost and then my most supportive midwife who bought internet whilst she was in Tanzania so she can help me have the most positive birth experience, I will treasure her forever for giving me what I would call an empowering labour despite the challenges I felt like I was making informed choices so thank you 🤍